Brexit: Kicked into the long grass?

Above, the planet Jupiter.
I have a very good Brexiteer friend who lives in Huntingdonshire. He is a long time campaigner against the EU. In fact he was one of the original campaigners against the UK joining what was then misleadingly called, “The Common Market”.
I remember a conversation that took place between us. That conversation took place a few years before the EU Referendum in 2016. It was about the EU and I remember saying something along the lines of; “…..If I was one of the EU Commissioners……” To which my friend replied; “I could not imagine that. I would find it easier to imagine myself an amorphous cloud creature living in Jupiter’s atmosphere…..” This because my patriotic friend just cannot imagine himself in the shoes of a dedicated Europhile such as Sir Vince Cable.
Well for my many sins, imagining myself in the position of the other is one of my dubious talents.
Thus – at some great annoyance for my friend – I shall venture to put myself in the position of President Tusk! Were I he, I would be minded to suggest to the European Council that the EU should offer the UK an extension until Sunday 31st March 2024 as new MEPs have to be selected in April 2024.
NB: If the UK ratifies and enacts the Withdrawal Agreement it can leave well before March 2024!
Such an extension would be conditional on the UK appointing a European Commissioner – the position to take effect on Friday 1st November 2019.
WHY?
Well, firstly, look at the downside (from the EU’s perspective) – the UK’s politicians will be arguing amongst themselves.
Well, we say, what of it? Just look at Catalonia! Spain is undergoing far more turmoil than the UK at this present time! Spain’s membership of the EU is not called into question! This idea that the UK’s political turmoil is a huge problem for the EU is a nonsense! People who suggest such reminds me of those people who call themselves “Americans” when they mean US Citizens and refer to “World Series football”
GOTO: https://www.rulesofsport.com/faq/why-is-the-world-series-called-the-world-series-if-only-american-teams-play.html
FACT: All EU member states from time to time have great internal political problems. The EU does not single out the UK for special attention in this regard. Except where it threatens it’s the interests or those of a fellow member state. Which means the EU is terribly concerned about the prospects of a No Deal Brexit because of the deleterious effects on EU members generally and of Ireland in particular.
Now, secondly, look at the upside (from the EU’s perspective) – of a long extension for the UK: It avoids a No Deal Brexit. It keeps the UK in the EU and thus making regular vast payments into the EU’s coffers!
Giving the UK a long extension will take the pressure off and allow the UK’s Remainers and Remainiacs to gather their forces to force a Second Referendum. The further down the track this second vote takes place the better the Remianers chances as more old Brexiteers die and more young Remainers reach the age of 18 and thus become enfranchised.
Of course, if the Buffoon remains true to form he will refuse to appoint an EU Commissioner which will have the effect of having the EU leave the EU on 31st October 2019. However, it is a racing certainty that this Remainer Parliament will legislate along the lines of the Benn-Burt Act to appoint the UK’s Commissioner should the government refuse so to do. There are NO prizes for guessing who would be the first choice of the Remainer Parliament: Speaker Bercow (For it is He!)Is it not convenient that he has chosen to quit as Speaker on Halloween 2019?
Thus in addition to his generous retirement package courtesy of the UK taxpayer he will enjoy a further “nice little earner” in Brussels!
No doubt the new President, Frau Ursula von der Leyen (below) will givehim a position suited to his abilities – putting him in charge of the paper-clips perhaps? His proper job title, probably “Commissioner for Administrative Affairs” – a make believe portfolio the equivalent of a Minister without Portfolio borrowed from the fictional Department of Administrative Affairs whose minister was Jim Hacker. His brief, to advise the Commission President “Man muss ihr gehorchen” (She who must be obeyed!) on potential areas where money could be saved on the internal workings of the EU in Brussels and Srassbourg.